What kind of person are you?

I came across this video shared by my friend the other day and whilst watching it, thought it would be good to share, for us to reflect upon ourselves.

The title of the video was “8 Signs of Fake nice people you need to be aware of”

Sometimes, we come across certain people who seem pretentious. Some may seem outright obvious, yet some may require a little more careful observation.

But there are signs, there always are.

Sign #1.

They only respect people with power. One example that comes to mind is how you may treat a cleaner or a waiter in a restaurant. Do you give them a smile when you see them, treat them with respect and address them politely? Or do you shout for their attention, scold, humiliate them and not treat them as you would your superiors, colleagues and friends? Do you think they are of a  “lowlier” status than you, which thus gives you the right to disrespect and treat them as such? Genuine people have a natural respect for others and treat everyone equally, regardless of status.

Sign #2.

They try hard to make people like them. That isn’t necessary. Mature people know their own value and self-worth and know that if they focus on developing themselves, doing good and what they can do to positively impact others’ lives, people will notice and will naturally gravitate toward them.

Sign #3.

They are desperate for attention. “Genuine people aren’t attention seekers” as it states in the video. They do what is right, when it is right. Why kick up a big fuss and risk stirring shit up whilst trying to get yourself noticed?

Sign #4.

They show off all the time. Bragging isn’t neccessary. What we should do is to stay humble and keep as low a profile as possible. It is better to let the works you do speak for themselves, rather than to try and publicise all you can. There is something more shocking and impacting when you discover something you never knew about that person by yourself, especially when they have been by your side, yet never uttering a word to brag about themselves, isn’t it?

Sign #5.

They gossip a lot. Genuine people state facts and express their opinion openly, but yet at the same time, tactfully. (They are not the type to shove things down other’s throats, expect them to listen, agree with all they believe and have to say.) They respect the other person’s opinions too. After all, each of us is different and have had our fair share of experiences in life that others may not have personally experienced before. Who are we to judge and say that what we say is ‘correct’ and everyone has to agree with it?

This brings to mind another quote I like.

β€œIn my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

So true isn’t it? And yes, this is inclusive of little children too. There is always something to learn from them too. Just last Saturday I was chatting with my violin student after her lesson. She is only 8 years old. We were casually talking about school and I was curious about what they were learning about nowadays at that age. So I asked, and boy, was I surprised! I asked her to share something she found interesting that she learnt in school with me. After a couple moments of contemplation, she said that they were learning about bugs and they different types there were. At first I thought she was referring to the general butterflies, caterpillars etc., but no! She said they had learnt about Crustaceans, Myriapods and Hexapodas, and then proceeded to describe and explain what type of insects fell under each category. Let me repeat my previous sentence. She’s only 8!! If that doesn’t blow your mind, I don’t know what will. That’s because i’m pretty sure if I took a survey out of you grownups asking y’all to explain what types of bugs they are and to provide examples of each, the vast majority of us ain’t gonna pass it. (I’m sure she’s not an exception, everyone no matter how young/old has something they know that we don’t and can definitely learn from them.)

Sign #6.

Fake people tend to make commitments/promises easily but their words hold little value and meaning because they rarely keep them. You may say all the ideal and positive things you want, but at the end of the day, it is what you do that people observe and take notice of.

“Actions speak louder than words”

What’s the point of promising the world when you know it isn’t going to happen?. People do notice, and after a while, what you say doesn’t carry weight anymore. Isn’t it better to only promise what you are definitely sure you can deliver? Personally, I’ve always found it preferable to under-commit slightly, then over-deliver as much as I can (practically speaking of course). Its been a lot more satisfying to do that because the expectation has been set for the other party and yet you can do one better. However at the same time, you don’t have to worry because if you can’t, it’s still not a negative because you still are able to deliver what you have already committed!

Sign #7.

They criticize others to make themselves look great. If you truly are capable, I believe that we don’t have to put others down and use them as a stepping-stone to make yourself look better. Why don’t we try to hone our craft and then actually make ourselves better? Win-win situation for others and for us. Isn’t that more like it?

Sign #8.

They are nice only when they have a hidden agenda (e.g. they have something they ‘want’ from you). Nobody likes being treated well only because of what they have or knowing that they are being ‘used’ to get through to something or for a particular reason. These people who do that aren’t real friends. Genuine friends will stick by you through thick and thin, even when life gets real shitty and dark sometimes. We all have our demons to handle, our own trials and tough seasons to go through in life. Appreciate the people who stick by you through that, because they love you for who you are, and are definitely worth investing time and effort into developing that relationship.

As always, thanks for reading guys πŸ™‚

Paul Chong