Why does it seem like everything I do lead to failure? (Or pretty darn close to it at least).
Personally, a major one for me feels like my pursuit into medical school. It seems like my current Gpa isn’t high enough to meet the cutoff and to enter into Uoa for postgrad med again. (Gpa cutoff in the past couple years has hovered around the 7.25-7.4 mark whilst i’m stuck at a 5.9 with the highest i can probably achieve is a mid to high 6 by the end of this year.) I’ve been trying to consider other universities, but everything just seems so bleak at the moment with no end in sight.
I have been testing and questioning myself in these past couple years and am now very sure that this is the path in life for me. Also, I have been consistently asking the Lord if it is His will, because what good is it for me to want to do something if it is not for me? However, I would like to strongly believe He has meant it for me and has already destined me for greatness within this career I seek. He would have had a reason in putting such desire and drive within my heart, a reason in giving my mum cancer back then which led to my interest and passion for the study of cancer (one of the top worldwide killer diseases in todays modern day and age). Plus I just can’t imagine myself doing anything else!
I just don’t know exactly what pathway he is leading me through. Right now, it looks like imma have to ‘wander in the wilderness’ like Israel did for 40 years, taking the long and hard road to medical school. Although all these failures make it seem like nothing good can come out of it, I believe it has and will lead me to a improved me and a better future to come. Whatever and wherever He leads me through, I will follow, because that is what is best meant for me and God only wants the best in my life.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:28 NKJV
I would like to share another verse that has hit home for me. I hope it helps and means as much to you as it has for me.
“Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.”
James 4:1-3 NKJV
It has been said that we should walk by faith and not by sight (isn’t this the entire basis of our walk and relationship with God?) Let us not let Him, ourselves and others down shall we?
Failure is inevitable, but giving up is unforgivable.
All in His good time.